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Category Archives: Bachelor Party

Montreal Bachelor Party review: How to impress 15 NYC guys who have done it all

The Setup

Had one of my long time clients – who finds any excuse to tag along on a Montreal bachelor party  – give me a call a few months ago. For the sake of his marriage, let’s call him Donald (fitting for the times). Donald informs me that one of his bosses is planning a bachelor party to Montreal and he needs us to blow it out as he thinks his bosses hate him (turns out they don’t). In any case, we need to make Donald and his boss look good.

After scheduling a call with Donald’s boss (alias: Bernie), we go over a few preliminary details. Overall, Bernie tells me that he is busy, his friends are degenerates, and he wants to make this event more memorable than the usual Vegas bachelor party. Luckily, the Donald has filled him in on a few of the more avant-garde details (topless beer pong and midgets) from his previous trips to let Bernie know he’s in good hands. Based on our initial ten minute conversation (mostly Bernie pausing to yell at his secretary) these were his priorities:

  • 15 guys for 3 nights, all 30-35, jaded and have seen it all (in his words “pain in the ass  New Yorkers”)
  • Great place to stay
  • Some sort of memorable debaucherous activity
  • One non-debaucherous activity so they feel better about the previous event
  • Great meals
  • Lots of hot girls
  • $1k per person ($15k total budget)

The Plan

I outlined a bachelor party package for them at $15k:

  • Our (Gold) standard Connected Montreal services, as always: host, no cover, no waiting in lines, no tipping for entry, itinerary and all reservations taken care of.
  • Exclusive bachelor-party-built house in the heart of downtown: 4 floors, 4500 sq feet, 6 bedrooms (seen above)
  • Bottle service two of the 3 nights, 8 bottles total.
  • 5 young and impressionable girls (not hookers) to party with them at the club each night so that they don’t stand around and stare at each other.
  • 6 girl lesbian show at the house.
  • 4 girl topless beer pong.
  • Midget bartender.
  • Schwartz’s Catering lunch on one day.
  • Curling tournament (you’re in canada right?)

Execution

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When planning something of this scale, timing is everything. The key is to balance free time with scheduled events. Also, you want to calculate guys dropping out/getting too drunk as the day progresses. Big events like a suite party and topless beer pong are great afternoon activities since Montreal does not have a real boozy-brunch/pool party scene. The earlier the better (well, after 12pm) as the guys and strippers are a lot “fresher”.  Another strategy we implement with bigger groups is not stacking too many events, as some guys will never make it (or be able to keep up).

Two weeks before the event, I sent over a tentative itinerary to Donald and Bernie. We fine-tuned it a bit and the plans were in motion. I had the girls stocked, the clubs prepped, and the midget on standby.  

Recap

With every bachelor party there are going to be hiccups, from guys dropping out, to flights being delayed, to girls having to stay home to wash their hair. While I can’t go into a blow by blow account of the bachelor party, overall, the weekend went silky smooth. All the guys survived- some less than others- and no one ended up pregnant. Bernie did his group right and The Donald still has his job. The groups is already planning a return trip for the Grand Prix…

Posted on: 20 Apr 2017
Posted by: Oren
Why Montreal in 2017 for your bachelor party is going to be great.

Montreal 375

What does this mean for you? Nothing.
Should you actually care that it’s the 375 anniversary of Montreal? Not at all, what you should care is that the city is wasting as much money as possible to make it care and the only people it will advantage of you
More tourists, aka girls
More daytime activities

New Clubs

Like every year, in the new out with the old. While some of the favorite clubs have closed down, others are still going strong. Clubs open and close as fast as strippers change their relationship status in this city.

This year there seems to be more clubs opening than ever before. This helps the scene stay fresh but that means there is more to navigate in order to find an actual “hotspot”. That is why we are here, we spend countless dollars on drinks as research development so you don’t have to, finding you the best places in the city, with the hottest girls.

More daytime activities

Perennial favorites like go-karts, paintball, jet boating, and whitewater rafting are always options, there have been a few new activities that have become popular with bachelor parties. Axe throwing, escape rooms, and beer tours are some new and exciting options to enhance the free time during the day.

House options
There has been a shift in focus when it comes to lodging, we have some of our housing options built specifically for bachelor parties. Why look anywhere else?

Posted on: 16 Apr 2017
Posted by: Oren
5 Montreal Hotels To Avoid During A Bachelor Party

Montreal is jam-packed with luxurious places to stay. If you’re here for a wild bachelor party, you don’t want the party being held at the local Holiday Inn. No no no, this occasion calls for a special home-base for the festivities. There are a lot to choose from, so here are the Montreal hotels you’ll want to AVOID.

Hotel St.James

The St.James is without a doubt one of the classiest and fanciest hotels in Montreal. The ‘who’s who’ list of people that have stayed there is endless. I mean, there are usually more Maybach’s parked outside than at Jay-Z’s house. However, it’s not ideal for bachelor parties due to the fact that it’s just too darn expensive. Also, the place is relatively dated on the inside. The level of luxury is more the type that your parents (or their parents) would enjoy. For that price, thought, there isn’t nearly enough fun going on there.

St.James Hotel

Chateau Versailles

Avoid this place like the plague. While not often booked, it does come up due to alliances with several points/airline packages. The hotel is old, delicate and will throw you out faster than the speed at which the guests move. This is by no means a party headquarters.

Loews Vogue Hotel

This one is a real heartbreaker, because the Loews Vogue Hotel in Montreal could be an amazing place for a bachelor party, but sadly, it is not. The location is great (right off St-Catherine’s and one block from Crescent), the suites are large (even some two-bedroom suites), but the management goes out of their way to shut down any type of partying/noise and will even make you sign a waiver. We’ve have had guests denied their reservation upon check-in; they’re that strict. They even have a gatekeeper by the elevator making it near impossible to invite over any “questionable” guests.

Delta Montreal

This one is a relatively big hotel with affordable rates and nice suites, but they absolutely hate bachelor parties. It’s similar to the Loews (mentioned above), just cheaper.

Delta Montreal

Old Montreal Castle

While this last one isn’t a hotel and more of an AirBnB/short-term rental, it’s still to be avoided (book with extreme caution). The house itself is insane, but unfortunately so are their policies. They have a party house that hates parties (go figure) and their list of rules and mandates make Mariah Carey seem down-to-earth.  They will charge for everything and anything, including a late check-in. Yes, they charge for late check-in, not late check-out. They will also show up quite often throughout the weekend at random times, regardless of complaints. This space is like Tim Tebow’s hot girlfriend: a true waste.

 

Posted on: 09 Feb 2016
Posted by: Tyler Lemco
5 Good Ways To Detox Just To Retox Before Your Bachelor Party

If you’re under 30, then you can go ahead and skip this article because your body doesn’t have a vile hatred for you just yet. If you’re over 30, then we both know you’re power drinking days are behind you and you have one big night of your best boozing in the tank. As a 34-year old man myself, I find that I am more careful with my drunkenness than with my portfolio. However, when it comes to your buddy’s bachelor party, you are forced to go all in! And sure, by the next morning you’ll feel terrible and hate the world, but that’s expected. Just try one (or more) of these tips to getting back on your feet the next morning (or afternoon) and I guarantee you’ll be 100% by the time you have to do it all over again the next night.

Oh, and before attempting any of these, get some coffee in you…

Go To The (Hetero) Baths

If you’re in need of some serious pampering and relaxation then the hot/cold baths at Bota Bota or Spa Finlandia are a must. Each place has a series of pools with various temperatures all designed to re-invigorate your body. There is also a nice communal aspect and often some good looking girls at these high end spas. If you need even more therapy, then I suggest opting for a massage.

Try A New-Age Float Tank

This is probably the most out-there and interesting idea to detox. I learned about float tanks/deprivation tanks by listening to Joe Rogan rant on his podcast all about them. Chances are most people have never tried it, but I highly recommend trying it at least once. A float tank is a private little capsule filled with half epsom salt and half water. You lay inside the dark tank (there is a light if you get scared of your emotions) floating in near weightlessness. It’s a truly unique experience and an amazing way to unplug and tune out the world for an hour.  You will feel very good after, trust me.

Walk Up Mountain Royal

This is probably the most engaging and most impossible of the ideas on this list if you are truly hungover. However, if you are able to move even a little, it can be a rewarding and cultural experience for you and your buddies. This is also the cheapest and perhaps most effective solution to getting a jump start on your day.  In the center of the city is Mont Royale, which Montreal is named after (it’s OK, I didn’t know this at first either). Mont Royal is the Central Park of Montreal. In fact, the trails and layout were designed by the same guy! While not the steepest of climbs, it’s a great escape from the urban jungle and there is one hell of a view at the top.  If it’s Sunday, walk to the East side of the mountain and experience the Tam-Tams, where hundreds of people gather to smoke, drink, play instruments, and just relax. 

Go Jet Boating And/Or White Water Rafting

Most bachelor parties want to do one benign group activity so that they don’t feel like complete degenerates. While go-karting or paintball are two time-tested traditional options, experiencing the Montreal rapids is a better one! Unlike most major cities, the island of Montreal has some amazing rapids right on the edge of town. There are two great options for the rapids: white water rafting or jet boating.  The best way to differentiate the two is  to call one active and the other passive.  If you are hungover AF or not into exercise (like me), then jet boating is for you. Basically, it’s a large pontoon boat that seats up to 30 people and it dive-bombs into the rapids. Huge waves of water rush over the boat, soaking everyone more than a stripper at a Louis Vuitton store. The white water rafting is even more invigorating, as some of the rapids can launch you out of the boat if you don’t hold on.

Posted on: 09 Feb 2016
Posted by: Tyler Lemco
Top 5 Bars and Clubs in Montreal To Pick Up “Friendly” French Canadian Girls

Montreal is famous having a slew of hot spots, some being a little hotter than others. If your goal is to go home with someone to, um, help you cook breakfast in the morning, then you may want to try out one of these spots:

Chez Serge

Chez Serge is your typical sports bar. It’s got drinks in buckets, constant dancing on the bar, and it even has a mechanical bull (which can yield either sexy or hilarious results from a spectators perspective). The whole place reeks of teenage pregnancy.

Apartment 200

This place is a personal favorite that’s been designed to look like a a cool dude’s apartment. Therefore, every night at Apartment 200 is basically a house party, plus as an added bonus there’s a bunch of vintage arcade games. The place is consistently packed with hipsters and french girls who, after a couple of drinks, will be impressed that you remember when NBA Jam came out. Just keep those Jagerbombs coming!

Distillerie

Distillerie is famous for it’s impeccable drink selection. They’re got mixed drinks so big they would make Bill Cosby blush.

Le Saint Sulpice

Not only is this a great bar and a great place to meet girls, but it’s actually a really nice location as well. It’s a huge outdoor garden/terrace that’s ideal on a nice evening. Oh, and it happens to be right next to the biggest university in town. That doesn’t hurt, either. The Thursday nights at Saint Sulpice are legendary for offering cheap beer and even cheaper women. Ordering drinks here will make you feel like you’re back in Thailand, only this time you’ll have showered.

Montreal Planned Parent Hood

Just kidding, French girls keep it, so bag it up!

Bar

Posted on: 09 Feb 2016
Posted by: Tyler Lemco
How A Group Of Guys From The South Spent $100K On Their Montreal Bachelor Party

Now THIS is how to have an epic bachelor party! Just when we thought we had seen it all, we ended up having one of our craziest bachelor party weekends yet. These guys blew our previous ultimate bachelor party package out of the friggin’ water with this one. You may think that some of what I’m about to tell you is crazy, or even made up, but I promise, this is how some lucky bastards recently did it.

The Arrival

The group featured 24 dudes from down South. They were all very laid back guys with that classic southern charm. One particularly generous gentleman flew everyone down on his private jet and ended up footing most of the bill. I guess it’s a good time to own a chain of fast-food chicken restaurants in the South. Their arrival was just a small sign of the things to come. Waiting for the group on the tarmac was a limousine filled with strippers. Once everyone piled in, we set off to one of the nicest boutique hotels in downtown Montreal, where we set the guys up with the presidential suite and individual private rooms.

Getting Rowdy At The Hotel

Activity number one was a quick party at the suite, where 10 girls put on quite a show. The party featured a fully-stocked bar and some topless beer pong. Then we brought in the party girls. A party girl’s importance should not be undervalued. Regardless of a group’s size or budget, party girls really add to the party. We scour the city and spend countless research & development hours (Facebook profile stalking) to find the right girls to take any party to the next level. The right party girl will take any tension off the group and attract even more girls. This is just science. So, we brought in 12 of the youngest, hottest and most impressionable party girls that Montreal has to offer. It’s important to find a girl before she becomes jaded and too accustomed to the good life. As they say, you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.

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The Last Supper

For dinner, we went to the best steakhouse in Canada. That’s where the drinks REALLY got flowing. It started with a $9000 6L bottle of Dom Perignon. I don’t mean the toilet water 2004 stuff; I’m talking the 1994 bottle. That was followed up by a $6000 9L bottle of wine. There was seafood towers, caviar tins, and of course, steaks. Half-way through the meal, while everyone was eating, we had some girls come put on a show on the table that involved a different type of eating. Now that’s a pretty fantastic centrepiece if you ask me!

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Find Me In The Club, Bottles Full Of Bub

Following dinner, we took the boys and girls to the club, where a special section filled with bottles was awaiting them. Our midget bartender took care of the group all night long, and one of the guys in the group was so hammered that it took him over an hour to realize that his bartender was a little person. The night continued on that pace, as the guys partied at the club until the morning hours. This was just night one, though. There was still much more to come.

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Day Two

The next day started with another private suite party, only featuring some college football on the screens. Of course, we got strippers to wear the jerseys of their alma mater. That was a nice touch. After the game, we rented out an entire spa for massages. After a long night of strenuous partying, it’s important to relax and take care of the body a little bit.

Following the massages, we went to the supper club. This time, we brought out 18 party girls for the occasion. That’s more than an NBA roster. The guys must have enjoyed the over-sized bottle of wine from the previous night, because they ordered a few more. It wasn’t long before things started to get wild. Girls were taking off their tops, guys were throwing money in the air, and the expensive champagne was flowing like a water fountain. We had the attention of the entire club. It was such a scene that when PK Subban and Georges St-Pierre randomly showed up at the same location, nobody seemed to notice.

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The Final Conclusion

By the end of it all, the group had managed to spend $100,000 on their epic Montreal bachelor party, and every penny of it was worth it. This is definitely one for the record books that will be very tough for anyone to top. Never say never, though.

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Posted on: 05 Nov 2015
Posted by: Tyler Lemco
How To Be Smart About Your Wild Montreal Bachelor Party

Montreal is such a great bachelor party destination for a reason: there’s a lot here that can get you in a heap of trouble. You definitely don’t want your significant other knowing every detail about your epic time. We had a guy recently who’s wife found the e-mail chain with us discussing the events we had planned. Needless to say, she was not pleased and didn’t let him attend his own bachelor party. You can bet that all his friends still came and had the time of their life, though! You definitely don’t want that to be you. So, here are some pro tips on how to keep your fun under wraps and have a discretely awesome time on your Montreal bachelor party.

burner phones

  • Get A Burner: You should have a throw-away phone, or as we like to call it, a “whore phone”. At the very least, get a new sim card and phone number to text with the friendly locals and Tinderellas.  You don’t want Staci from the strip club texting you three weeks after your trip to ask how your made-up golf tournament went.
  • Make Sure Your Stories Match: Be absolutely certain that you and your friends are on the same page. Have an alibi and make sure that everyone knows it very well. You can’t have Carl telling his girlfriend that you’re at the vineyard while Steve tells his wife that you guys are at a football game. A quick table read with the whole team will be to your benefit.

email

  • New E-Mail Address For Us: Look, we are what we are. We make sure that you’re going to have the very best time possible. That’s good news for you, but you don’t want someone seeing our plans who isn’t supposed to see our plans. Communicate with us with a new e-mail address. You can also send all your spam to that account after you’re done with us.
  • Cut Out The Mole: You know exactly who it is. Everyone has one in the bachelor party crew. His significant other is his “best friend” and you just know that he’ll share every single detail about your trip. That will then trickle down and eventually leak information that you don’t want leaked. The less The Mole knows, the better, because this softie will undoubtedly crack under the pressure.
  • Lie To Girls In Town: For starters, you don’t need to share any information that will help a girl track you down. They don’t need to know your real name or occupation. Now’s your chance to finally be whatever your parents hoped you’d be! Another dance, doctor?

insectarium

  • Leave Fake Evidence In Your Pocket: This is a serious pro tip. Get a map from the BioDome or Insectarium and leave it crumpled up in your pocket “by mistake”. When she finds the evidence, she’ll rest easy knowing that you didn’t get up to anything too wild. Everyone goes to Montreal to look at the insects. That’s what it’s known for, of course 😉
  • Follow these simples tricks and you’ll be having the wildest time of your life without any headaches to deal with (except for maybe the headache from your hangover).

    strippers

Posted on: 29 Sep 2015
Posted by: Tyler Lemco
Maximize Your Bachelor Party House Rental in Montreal

Over the past year or so we have seen an increase in the number of people looking for short term rentals for their bachelor party (i.e. AirBnB, VRBO, Flip Key, etc…). In the past, we have poo-pooed this idea in favor of suites and hotel rooms, however the use of a house rental for a bachelor party can work out quite well if the following precautions are taken into consideration.

Make sure the house and owner are cool with bachelor parties

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This might seem obvious but it’s often overlooked. Just because the price and location are ideal does not mean the stay will be. Some of the so-called prime short term rentals in montreal are ran by very conservative people who will place insane restrictions or outright refuse your reservation if they find out that it’s for a bachelor party. That castle in Old Montreal you found might turn more into a stay at a dungeon guarded by a nagging manager. Best piece of advice: read up on the reviews and owners of the property before hand. Also, no sense in lying about the trip, 8-12 dudes don’t travel to Montreal to visit the botanical garden.

Utilize the space properly

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There will be lots of downtime at the house so you really need our help to maximize the space and make your stay more memorable. Most true and tried method is to throw a bunch of Montreal strippers into the mix. Why let the space go to waste, besides those girls your buddy met the other day are not coming over regardless of what he keeps saying. Here are some of our best sellers:

Legs and eggs: two ladies come in and cook you breakfast in the buff $800+

2/4 girl show: use your imagination for this one $600-1600

Topless beer pong: Relive your frat days, just this time with girls $800+

 

Make sure the house has the right amenities for a bachelor party

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You will end up spending more time at the house than you think. Make sure it’s got everything needed to hangout and have fun. Does it have a living room large enough to hangout? Many of the Plateau places are older than dirt and have tiny living rooms. Does it have enough beds and sofas? What good is a 4 bedroom if there are only 4 beds? Not everyone will know each other on the bachelor party nor will everyone want to be the little spoon.

Does it have WOW factor? It needs something cool to make the stay memorable: pool table, hot tub, ping pong table, stripper pole, balcony/deck to smoke or grill? If not then perhaps a hotel suite might offer better value.

Know the location

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Montreal is centralized but not everywhere is ideal. Good rule of thumb is that you. want to stay on the island and no farther east then St Denis, no farther west then Atwater, no father north then Bernard, and lastly no father south then the water (stay on the island). Otherwise the few dollars you tried to save will be wasted on transit, as you are not near any of the action. Also outside these zones might be too Avant Garde (really french, really gay, or both!) or too residential.

Clean up before you leave!

We know that you’re all hungover, you didn’t make the mess, its not your place. BUT a 15-30 min in clean up time can save you a big headache down the road. You placed a security deposit meaning you’re on the hook. You had a hard enough time collecting from everyone before the bachelor party, imagine after. Nothing worse than having to battle over email weeks later about damages or cleaning issue when you could have addressed them in no time before you left.

 

Posted on: 27 May 2015
Posted by: Oren
How to get cheap flights to Montreal for your bachelor party

When it comes to planning a bachelor party it’s essential to make every dollar count. Undeniably, one of the biggest killers of your budget is usually the flight. If road-tripping to Montreal doesn’t appeal to you, here are some smart and easy ways to help you get cheap flights to Montreal.

Book Early

While booking early is the simplest concept it always the most underrated. The summer is peak travel season and like clockwork, flights always end up skyrocketing in price starting in the spring.  If Montreal’s your destination, then book your flight ASAP. You’ll thank us later.

Try Skiplagged

Skiplagged is a new and controversial way to find cheap flights. What they do is search for flights where your destination is the stop over for another flight. This tends to be a lot cheaper and we’ve used it successfully on a few flights to and from Montreal.  The only thing is that you cannot check in any bags as you will be getting off the plane prematurely. Typically, this is a non-issue for bachelor party goers who tend to travel light.

Use Points and Credit Card Sign-Up Bonuses

*** We are in no way affiliated with any credit card companies nor do we feel like preaching to you about personal financial responsibly***

This is a subject near and dear to our hearts. If you have decent credit and are not accumulating airline/reward points you are missing out! Montreal is often considered a short haul flight from most major U.S cities, making its redemption value in points fairly low.  United, British Avios, Aero Plan, and Sky Miles all offer reward flights to Montreal on the cheap.

Here’s how it works. Take British Airways Avios points as an example:

cheap flight to montreal

For a $350-500 flight, all you need to do is to redeem 9,000 points and then pay $52 in taxes!

It also important to note that if you have an Amex you can transfer your reward points (sometimes greater than 1:1) to dozens of  frequent flier programs including Avios at little or no charge.

Double dip that chip!

Right now most major credit cards are offering a crazy amount of points if you sign up for one of their cards. If you don’t have any of these we would highly recommend trying to sign up for one as the bonuses are worth it.   For example, Chase is offering a 50,000 AVIOS point bonus for their British Airways Signature Card.  You could book a package with us and get a few free flights if done properly.

For more card offers, and other tips for how to accumulate/use points, check out The Points Guy.

Posted on: 26 Mar 2015
Posted by: Oren
How to do a proper dinner for your bachelor party

While the main focus of a bachelor party is booze and girls, food can also play a central role. Everyone loves a good meal, your fat “foodie” friend included, so it’s important to do them right. Oftentimes, meals are the only opportunity for your entire party to be together and semi-sober.   Here are some ways to make the bachelor’s “Last Meal” memorable:

Add Strippers

When it comes to bachelor parties, strippers make everything better. This is why, for a truly memorable experience, we offer two- girl shows in a discreet, private room at a premier steakhouse.  Having your own private space at a steakhouse is a great start, but having two or even four (although the record is 8) ladies come in and perform on the table makes for a slightly more memorable experience. A few years ago, I chose this very scenario for my own brother’s bachelor party; to this day, people still talk about it, except for my sister-in-law … she no longer speaks to me.

A two-girl show starts at $1000.

Experience naked sushi

For some clients, a show at the steakhouse is too crude.  For others, one nudity-related dining experience just isn’t enough.  In either case, naked (aka body) sushi fits the bill. We will provide your group with a private sushi chef and a naked model at either your hotel suite or a restaurant. Known in Japan as nyotaimori, it’s an experience like no other.

Naked sushi starts at $1500

Go to a supper club

A trip to a supper club is a bachelor party “must do.”  Not that well-known south of the border, supper clubs are a Montreal institution.  Essentially, you go there for a late dinner and, afterwards, they turn down the lights and turn up the music.  This is a high-end affair and bottles service is a must.  The waitresses are model hot and will probably screw up your order, but you won’t care because the place is  packed with beauties.

Go “high-end”

If you take your cuisine seriously, or want to give the Applebee’s-loving bachelor an experience to remember, then “high-end” is the way to go.  We can get you a table at the best restaurants in the city:  Au Pied de Cochon, Garde Manger, Joe Beef, La Belle Province … the list goes on.  These places will guarantee Instagram worship for your foodie friends and inspire jealousy in people you hardly know.  Montreal offers some of the finest and most innovative cuisine in North America, particularly for the money. Why not try a more high-end route?

Posted on: 10 Mar 2015
Posted by: Oren