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5 Good Ways To Detox Just To Retox Before Your Bachelor Party

5 Good Ways To Detox Just To Retox Before Your Bachelor Party

If you’re under 30, then you can go ahead and skip this article because your body doesn’t have a vile hatred for you just yet. If you’re over 30, then we both know you’re power drinking days are behind you and you have one big night of your best boozing in the tank. As a 34-year old man myself, I find that I am more careful with my drunkenness than with my portfolio. However, when it comes to your buddy’s bachelor party, you are forced to go all in! And sure, by the next morning you’ll feel terrible and hate the world, but that’s expected. Just try one (or more) of these tips to getting back on your feet the next morning (or afternoon) and I guarantee you’ll be 100% by the time you have to do it all over again the next night.

Oh, and before attempting any of these, get some coffee in you…

Go To The (Hetero) Baths

If you’re in need of some serious pampering and relaxation then the hot/cold baths at Bota Bota or Spa Finlandia are a must. Each place has a series of pools with various temperatures all designed to re-invigorate your body. There is also a nice communal aspect and often some good looking girls at these high end spas. If you need even more therapy, then I suggest opting for a massage.

Try A New-Age Float Tank

This is probably the most out-there and interesting idea to detox. I learned about float tanks/deprivation tanks by listening to Joe Rogan rant on his podcast all about them. Chances are most people have never tried it, but I highly recommend trying it at least once. A float tank is a private little capsule filled with half epsom salt and half water. You lay inside the dark tank (there is a light if you get scared of your emotions) floating in near weightlessness. It’s a truly unique experience and an amazing way to unplug and tune out the world for an hour.  You will feel very good after, trust me.

Walk Up Mountain Royal

This is probably the most engaging and most impossible of the ideas on this list if you are truly hungover. However, if you are able to move even a little, it can be a rewarding and cultural experience for you and your buddies. This is also the cheapest and perhaps most effective solution to getting a jump start on your day.  In the center of the city is Mont Royale, which Montreal is named after (it’s OK, I didn’t know this at first either). Mont Royal is the Central Park of Montreal. In fact, the trails and layout were designed by the same guy! While not the steepest of climbs, it’s a great escape from the urban jungle and there is one hell of a view at the top.  If it’s Sunday, walk to the East side of the mountain and experience the Tam-Tams, where hundreds of people gather to smoke, drink, play instruments, and just relax. 

Go Jet Boating And/Or White Water Rafting

Most bachelor parties want to do one benign group activity so that they don’t feel like complete degenerates. While go-karting or paintball are two time-tested traditional options, experiencing the Montreal rapids is a better one! Unlike most major cities, the island of Montreal has some amazing rapids right on the edge of town. There are two great options for the rapids: white water rafting or jet boating.  The best way to differentiate the two is  to call one active and the other passive.  If you are hungover AF or not into exercise (like me), then jet boating is for you. Basically, it’s a large pontoon boat that seats up to 30 people and it dive-bombs into the rapids. Huge waves of water rush over the boat, soaking everyone more than a stripper at a Louis Vuitton store. The white water rafting is even more invigorating, as some of the rapids can launch you out of the boat if you don’t hold on.

Tyler Lemco
Tyler is a writer from Montreal. He enjoys burgers, sports, cheeseburgers, music, and bacon cheeseburgers. View all posts by Tyler Lemco