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Top 10 Things NOT to Wear at a Montreal Nightclub

Top 10 Things NOT to Wear at a Montreal Nightclub

I’m the first to admit that I am not the most stylish guy, nor do I read GQ (unlike someone else that works here). However, I feel compelled to call out these 10 fashion mistakes that are so blatantly obvious, that even I can spot them. Unless you want to be a real douche, it’s important to know what not to wear at a club in Montreal.

10. Sunglasses

pictureIt’s not sunny at night. Montreal nightclubs are not like those in Miami. The fact you can’t see anything with sunglasses on in the dark makes you look like a tool, not cool.  If your friend wears sunglasses to the club I will personally make him take them off or ask him all night where his seeing-eye dog is.

9. Vests

pictureProhibition is over. Unless you are there to refill the water or wipe off bread crumbs from my table DO NOT wear a vest.

#8 Jeans with Flaps over the Pockets

pictureTrue Religion or any other over-the-top jeans with flaps over the pockets are the worst. They are usually accompanied by someone with a spray tan and frosted tips.

7. Unlit Cigars

pictureI’ve seen this a few times. What’s worse is keeping one dangling in your mouth for the night. You can’t smoke inside anywhere in Montreal and you’re not on the cover of Cigar Aficionado. If you want a cigar, go to a cigar lounge.

6. Anything with a Huge Designer Logo on It

pictureDo they pay you to wear that or are you proud of what you found on the sale rack at TJ Max? Gear with big designer logos are beyond lame and reserved for Russian gangsters and Mexican cleaning ladies.

5. Suit and Tie

pictureThis often comes as a shock to some people, but in Montreal a suit is a sign that you’re overdressed. The dress code in Montreal is much more relaxed. If everyone in your group is sporting suits, it’ll look like you came from your local hockey banquet. If you’re a big guy like me, you’ll get hounded every two minutes as to the location of the bathroom.

4. Khakis

pictureUnless you just came from Martha’s Vineyard, do not wear khakis. Our clients from New England, the land that fashion forgot, are most guilty of this. Jeans are allowed and actually preferred everywhere in Montreal. Don’t look like you work at Best Buy.

3. Bedazzled Shirts

pictureMy grandmother also collects Swarovski crystals. This could be the ultimate sign of a douche. Luckily, this trend seems to be dying. Having anything sparkly or shiny on a t-shirt is a criminal offense. You are not cool and you do not fight in an octagon. If you dare wear this out, we will make you turn it inside out, or wear a sweater over it, like a slutty 16 year old girl sent to the principle’s office.

2. Fedoras or Any “Stylish” Hats

pictureOk, now you are just trying too hard. You are either balding or want attention. Unless you’re Chris Angel the hat is doing you an injustice.

1. Bachelor Party Shirts/Outfits

pictureIf you are going to any half decent night club in Montreal, getting a large group of guys is no easy feat. Clubs want to see Large groups of guys as much as they want to see a fire inspector. Don’t make matters worse by wearing those horrible bachelor party shirts that your girlfriend made you. If you want to wear your shirt with “Ice Man”, “The Legend”, or any other unoriginal nicknames on the back, wear them to a bar during the day, not out to the club.

Oren
Our U.S. representative (Boston office: 617.849.4853). One of Montreal Nightlife’s most recognized faces, Oren AKA “BIG OH” has been hosting and partying longer than his liver would like. Standing at 6’4 and weighing in at 250lbs, and hailing from Boston, Massachusetts, the BIG OH is someone you definitely want in your corner. This American Import knows first-hand how to relate the Montreal experience to American tastes. A man who knows how to get things done, he’s been hosting nearly every weekend for the past 6 years. Chances are, if you or someone you know has been to Montreal, you’ve run into the BIG OH partying at Montreal’s finest venues or have had him host your group in the past. He takes pride in delivering the best experience possible and showing why Montreal is the best city to party in. Oren does whatever it takes to make our clients secure in the fact that they will be well taken care of in the city. He has traveled extensively worldwide and incorporates his experiences into tailoring a service that is enjoyable for all. A wealth of crazy bachelor party ideas. In his spare time he enjoys walking his dog Olive (Pit bull/Boxer mix) and SCUBA diving around the globe. View all posts by Oren