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Tag Archives: Americans

Connected Montreal Hall Of Fame: Mr.R

Connected Montreal

*** The following Connected Montreal facts are true, but names have been changed to protect identity of those involved ***

Our Connected Montreal Hall Of Fame inductee holds a special place in our hearts (and the pants of a select group of Montreal women). It is our honor to welcome Mr. R to this stacked list of absolute party legends.

Mr. R leads a group of 8 professional guys from Chicago in their early 30’s out to Montreal every year for some wild times and to be reintroduced back into civilization. Mr. R is a loyal customer and just like the stock market, he’s appreciating every year. He calls us up and wants to know how he can spend more money with us next year. We wish all customers would be like Mr. R (We’re looking at you topless wine tasting guy, but that’s another story.)

We’ve seen a lot of shenanigans throughout the years and we have to say that Mr. R has impressive statistics. During his three trips with us:

  • Dom P avg spend: $8,800
  • Party girls hired: 30
  • Midgets hired : 3   (R.I.P. Harry)
  • .oz of Wagyu beef consumed: 60
  • Strippers puked on : 1

From all of us at Connected Montreal, we would like to thank you for being a rich douchebag that enjoys the finer things and woman in life. It’s customers like you that keep this job interesting. Welcome to the Connected Montreal Hall Of Fame.

Posted on: 25 Apr 2018
Posted by: Grant Simon
How To Pickup Friendly French-Canadian Girls In Montreal

French-Canadian Girls

French Canadian girls are considered some of the HOTTEST in North America. They are friendly by nature, but become even friendlier when a big baller is tossing dollars around. You’ll notice that many of the French Canadian girls look a bit younger than the nightlife scene back home. That’s because the drinking age in Montreal is 18. We know the best ways to pickup hot French Canadian girls. Here’s how:

Buy Bottles

If you want to end up on our Hall Of Shame list, then by all means, don’t buy bottles. But if you want to make the most of your time in the city, buy bottles. A wise man once said, “If you buy bottles, they will come.” It’s not complicated. Buy bottles. Girls will come. Be a legend.

Learn A Few Pickup Lines

Don’t be the guy in the group not talking to girls. Girls like guys that are social and jerks (reminds them of their absent father) If you know any French, don’t be shy to throw that in, just don’t immediately hit her with, “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?” or do…Your call. Use these lines instead:

Je suis jaloux de tes soins de santé gratuits (I am jealous of your free health care)

Est-que tu prends la pilule? (Are you on the pill?)

And an all-time favorite (even though we know it’s not true)

Je suis ammanchée comme un taureau (I’m hung like a bull)

Be Aggressive

The world is for the takers. You can be whoever you want to be when you visit Montreal. Always wanted to be a doctor? Well, now you can be! Here’s one: say you’re a porn star and put Ron Jeremy to shame. Montreal is the Sin City of Canada so chances are she won’t even bat an eye. Besides, Canadians are more reserved than Americans so a guy that takes charge will easily be able to invite girls back to party with the boys.

Bring A Sandwich To A Buffet

Hot French Canadian girls attract other hot French Canadian girls. That’s why our party girls are the perfect option for groups trying to meet friendly locals. Not only are they a great time to hang out and have fun with, they give you the social proof you need to bring other hot French-Canadians to your table. Be a Hall Of Famer, bring our local party girls out for a night on the town.  We source the finest young and impressionable ladies to ensure your group is not standing around staring at each other.

Don’t be that guy who goes “Oh, I don’t pay for girls” you know who has a problem paying for girls?  Poor people. In our biased opinion, party girls are great economics considering they cost about the same as a bottle and are forced to hangout with you and laugh at your terrible jokes. It’s Money in the bank.
Montreal Girls

Choose The Right Fishing Spot

When picking a club, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.The most expensive, badass clubs are cool, but not always the best for picking up girls. To be a big fish there you’re going to have to spend more. Depending on how price sensitive AKA “cheap” your group is, head to one of the lesser quality institutions and be a big fish in a small pond. Girls don’t like cheap guys, they like rich guys and bottle service.

Posted on: 24 Apr 2018
Posted by: Grant Simon