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Tag Archives: midgets

Connected Montreal Hall Of Fame: Mr.R

Connected Montreal

*** The following Connected Montreal facts are true, but names have been changed to protect identity of those involved ***

Our Connected Montreal Hall Of Fame inductee holds a special place in our hearts (and the pants of a select group of Montreal women). It is our honor to welcome Mr. R to this stacked list of absolute party legends.

Mr. R leads a group of 8 professional guys from Chicago in their early 30’s out to Montreal every year for some wild times and to be reintroduced back into civilization. Mr. R is a loyal customer and just like the stock market, he’s appreciating every year. He calls us up and wants to know how he can spend more money with us next year. We wish all customers would be like Mr. R (We’re looking at you topless wine tasting guy, but that’s another story.)

We’ve seen a lot of shenanigans throughout the years and we have to say that Mr. R has impressive statistics. During his three trips with us:

  • Dom P avg spend: $8,800
  • Party girls hired: 30
  • Midgets hired : 3   (R.I.P. Harry)
  • .oz of Wagyu beef consumed: 60
  • Strippers puked on : 1

From all of us at Connected Montreal, we would like to thank you for being a rich douchebag that enjoys the finer things and woman in life. It’s customers like you that keep this job interesting. Welcome to the Connected Montreal Hall Of Fame.

Posted on: 25 Apr 2018
Posted by: Grant Simon
Ideas to Take Your Bachelor Party to the Next Level

I frequently get calls from guys saying, “I’m coming to Montreal and I want to do something crazy!” The real problem here is: what is their idea of crazy? What if my idea of crazy is offensive to them? I may have shocked more than a few people over the years, however, we plan one-of-a-kind bachelor parties in Montreal, not Utah. Here are the best bachelor party ideas to make it crazy:

Lots and Lots of Bottlespicture

This is the most tried and true method out there. What crazy story ever began with, “so we were all really sober…”? The best way to make things wild is to add more bottles than you can drink at the club(s) and get all your friends loaded. The risks of this are obvious to everyone over the age of 20, but sometimes the easiest method is the best.

Don’t forget, the more bottles you get, the more status you receive. It will be deemed more humorous when your straight-laced accountant friend removes his pants in the VIP while drinking Goose from a bottle than if he was drinking a Fuzzy Navel shot at the bar.

Hire a Midget/Dwarfpicture

When it comes to a crazy bachelor party, this idea takes the cake. A little person coming out and partying with you at the club gets more attention than any bottle of champagne you order. He will party with you, pour your drinks, and best of all, the ladies will flock to your table. A midget rental will leave a lasting impression on everyone.

Have a Private 2+ Girl Show at Your Hotelpicture

As we have outlined before, a private two-girl show is a sure-fire way to impress everyone. While two girls are great, why not add more? Lesbians are like libations: the more you throw into the mix, the better the outcome.

So far, our record is a 10 girl show. Can you say sensory overload? (Note: this is not like “Man Vs. Food” if you finish in under an hour it is not free.)

If you don’t have the budget for more girls, then why not change up the location? We can have a show in pretty much any private place from a rooftop balcony of a suite to the private room at a steakhouse.

For the best time possible at your bachelor party, mix various amounts of all three ideas for the ultimate Montreal bachelor party.

Posted on: 24 May 2012
Posted by: Oren