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5 Montreal Hotels To Avoid During A Bachelor Party

Montreal is jam-packed with luxurious places to stay. If you’re here for a wild bachelor party, you don’t want the party being held at the local Holiday Inn. No no no, this occasion calls for a special home-base for the festivities. There are a lot to choose from, so here are the Montreal hotels you’ll want to AVOID.

Hotel St.James

The St.James is without a doubt one of the classiest and fanciest hotels in Montreal. The ‘who’s who’ list of people that have stayed there is endless. I mean, there are usually more Maybach’s parked outside than at Jay-Z’s house. However, it’s not ideal for bachelor parties due to the fact that it’s just too darn expensive. Also, the place is relatively dated on the inside. The level of luxury is more the type that your parents (or their parents) would enjoy. For that price, thought, there isn’t nearly enough fun going on there.

St.James Hotel

Chateau Versailles

Avoid this place like the plague. While not often booked, it does come up due to alliances with several points/airline packages. The hotel is old, delicate and will throw you out faster than the speed at which the guests move. This is by no means a party headquarters.

Loews Vogue Hotel

This one is a real heartbreaker, because the Loews Vogue Hotel in Montreal could be an amazing place for a bachelor party, but sadly, it is not. The location is great (right off St-Catherine’s and one block from Crescent), the suites are large (even some two-bedroom suites), but the management goes out of their way to shut down any type of partying/noise and will even make you sign a waiver. We’ve have had guests denied their reservation upon check-in; they’re that strict. They even have a gatekeeper by the elevator making it near impossible to invite over any “questionable” guests.

Delta Montreal

This one is a relatively big hotel with affordable rates and nice suites, but they absolutely hate bachelor parties. It’s similar to the Loews (mentioned above), just cheaper.

Delta Montreal

Old Montreal Castle

While this last one isn’t a hotel and more of an AirBnB/short-term rental, it’s still to be avoided (book with extreme caution). The house itself is insane, but unfortunately so are their policies. They have a party house that hates parties (go figure) and their list of rules and mandates make Mariah Carey seem down-to-earth.  They will charge for everything and anything, including a late check-in. Yes, they charge for late check-in, not late check-out. They will also show up quite often throughout the weekend at random times, regardless of complaints. This space is like Tim Tebow’s hot girlfriend: a true waste.

 

Posted on: 09 Feb 2016
Posted by: Tyler Lemco
5 Good Ways To Detox Just To Retox Before Your Bachelor Party

If you’re under 30, then you can go ahead and skip this article because your body doesn’t have a vile hatred for you just yet. If you’re over 30, then we both know you’re power drinking days are behind you and you have one big night of your best boozing in the tank. As a 34-year old man myself, I find that I am more careful with my drunkenness than with my portfolio. However, when it comes to your buddy’s bachelor party, you are forced to go all in! And sure, by the next morning you’ll feel terrible and hate the world, but that’s expected. Just try one (or more) of these tips to getting back on your feet the next morning (or afternoon) and I guarantee you’ll be 100% by the time you have to do it all over again the next night.

Oh, and before attempting any of these, get some coffee in you…

Go To The (Hetero) Baths

If you’re in need of some serious pampering and relaxation then the hot/cold baths at Bota Bota or Spa Finlandia are a must. Each place has a series of pools with various temperatures all designed to re-invigorate your body. There is also a nice communal aspect and often some good looking girls at these high end spas. If you need even more therapy, then I suggest opting for a massage.

Try A New-Age Float Tank

This is probably the most out-there and interesting idea to detox. I learned about float tanks/deprivation tanks by listening to Joe Rogan rant on his podcast all about them. Chances are most people have never tried it, but I highly recommend trying it at least once. A float tank is a private little capsule filled with half epsom salt and half water. You lay inside the dark tank (there is a light if you get scared of your emotions) floating in near weightlessness. It’s a truly unique experience and an amazing way to unplug and tune out the world for an hour.  You will feel very good after, trust me.

Walk Up Mountain Royal

This is probably the most engaging and most impossible of the ideas on this list if you are truly hungover. However, if you are able to move even a little, it can be a rewarding and cultural experience for you and your buddies. This is also the cheapest and perhaps most effective solution to getting a jump start on your day.  In the center of the city is Mont Royale, which Montreal is named after (it’s OK, I didn’t know this at first either). Mont Royal is the Central Park of Montreal. In fact, the trails and layout were designed by the same guy! While not the steepest of climbs, it’s a great escape from the urban jungle and there is one hell of a view at the top.  If it’s Sunday, walk to the East side of the mountain and experience the Tam-Tams, where hundreds of people gather to smoke, drink, play instruments, and just relax. 

Go Jet Boating And/Or White Water Rafting

Most bachelor parties want to do one benign group activity so that they don’t feel like complete degenerates. While go-karting or paintball are two time-tested traditional options, experiencing the Montreal rapids is a better one! Unlike most major cities, the island of Montreal has some amazing rapids right on the edge of town. There are two great options for the rapids: white water rafting or jet boating.  The best way to differentiate the two is  to call one active and the other passive.  If you are hungover AF or not into exercise (like me), then jet boating is for you. Basically, it’s a large pontoon boat that seats up to 30 people and it dive-bombs into the rapids. Huge waves of water rush over the boat, soaking everyone more than a stripper at a Louis Vuitton store. The white water rafting is even more invigorating, as some of the rapids can launch you out of the boat if you don’t hold on.

Posted on: 09 Feb 2016
Posted by: Tyler Lemco
Top 5 Bars and Clubs in Montreal To Pick Up “Friendly” French Canadian Girls

Montreal is famous having a slew of hot spots, some being a little hotter than others. If your goal is to go home with someone to, um, help you cook breakfast in the morning, then you may want to try out one of these spots:

Chez Serge

Chez Serge is your typical sports bar. It’s got drinks in buckets, constant dancing on the bar, and it even has a mechanical bull (which can yield either sexy or hilarious results from a spectators perspective). The whole place reeks of teenage pregnancy.

Apartment 200

This place is a personal favorite that’s been designed to look like a a cool dude’s apartment. Therefore, every night at Apartment 200 is basically a house party, plus as an added bonus there’s a bunch of vintage arcade games. The place is consistently packed with hipsters and french girls who, after a couple of drinks, will be impressed that you remember when NBA Jam came out. Just keep those Jagerbombs coming!

Distillerie

Distillerie is famous for it’s impeccable drink selection. They’re got mixed drinks so big they would make Bill Cosby blush.

Le Saint Sulpice

Not only is this a great bar and a great place to meet girls, but it’s actually a really nice location as well. It’s a huge outdoor garden/terrace that’s ideal on a nice evening. Oh, and it happens to be right next to the biggest university in town. That doesn’t hurt, either. The Thursday nights at Saint Sulpice are legendary for offering cheap beer and even cheaper women. Ordering drinks here will make you feel like you’re back in Thailand, only this time you’ll have showered.

Montreal Planned Parent Hood

Just kidding, French girls keep it, so bag it up!

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Posted on: 09 Feb 2016
Posted by: Tyler Lemco
Why Montreal Is The Best Party City On Earth During Grand Prix Weekend

Montreal is known far and wide as one of the best party cities in the world. That’s Montreal on a regular basis. It’s got one of the hottest nightlife scenes on the face of the earth, but when it’s Grand Prix Weekend, Montreal steps it’s game up to a whole other level. It becomes Montreal on steroids. The parties are wilder, the cars are more expensive, and ballers spend more, and the girls… OH the girls! Plus, there’s the whole reason that everyone assembles like they do: the Grand Prix race. However, with every passing year, the focal point is less and less about the race and more and more about the spectacle of the weekend. 

For starters, it’s when all the best parties happen. You can’t turn a corner without running into a VIP event. It’s like every bar, every club, and every venue in Montreal is hosting a special event, all happening the same weekend. Why is this? Because everyone that matters is in Montreal. Grand Prix weekend brings in all the celebrities and all of the top-tier ballers who are looking to spend exorbitant amounts of money to show off. The amount of money being tossed around during Grand Prix weekend is mind-boggling to even consider. 

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Another huge aspect of the weekend is the cars, obviously. The streets get filled up with some of the most expensive and exotic automobiles that you’ve ever seen. It’s a far cry from Montreal’s typical snow-infested streets we’re so accustomed to in the winter months. Every other vehicle is a quarter-million-dollar sports car or a huge truck on 26-inch spinning rims. It’s like the entire circumference of downtown Montreal is turned into a rap music video from 2004 for an entire weekend. 

Do you know what wild parties, money-spenders, and fancy cars usually goes hand in hand with? Beautiful women! It’s a very simple and logical equation. I believe it was a quote from the classic baseball movie Field Of Dreams: “if you build it, they will come.” If you combine all those aspects together, you’re all but guaranteed there will be some FINE women there as well. It’s science, really. 

Needless to say, Montreal during Grand Prix weekend is like nothing else on the planet. It’s what happens when you take an already-incredible party city and pump it with luxury cars, big spenders, and gorgeous ladies. The result is some of the most insane parties on the face of the planet and a MUST destination location for any party-seeker. It’s not just about a bunch of fast cars driving in a circle anymore. 

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Posted on: 15 Jan 2016
Posted by: Tyler Lemco
How A Group Of Guys From The South Spent $100K On Their Montreal Bachelor Party

Now THIS is how to have an epic bachelor party! Just when we thought we had seen it all, we ended up having one of our craziest bachelor party weekends yet. These guys blew our previous ultimate bachelor party package out of the friggin’ water with this one. You may think that some of what I’m about to tell you is crazy, or even made up, but I promise, this is how some lucky bastards recently did it.

The Arrival

The group featured 24 dudes from down South. They were all very laid back guys with that classic southern charm. One particularly generous gentleman flew everyone down on his private jet and ended up footing most of the bill. I guess it’s a good time to own a chain of fast-food chicken restaurants in the South. Their arrival was just a small sign of the things to come. Waiting for the group on the tarmac was a limousine filled with strippers. Once everyone piled in, we set off to one of the nicest boutique hotels in downtown Montreal, where we set the guys up with the presidential suite and individual private rooms.

Getting Rowdy At The Hotel

Activity number one was a quick party at the suite, where 10 girls put on quite a show. The party featured a fully-stocked bar and some topless beer pong. Then we brought in the party girls. A party girl’s importance should not be undervalued. Regardless of a group’s size or budget, party girls really add to the party. We scour the city and spend countless research & development hours (Facebook profile stalking) to find the right girls to take any party to the next level. The right party girl will take any tension off the group and attract even more girls. This is just science. So, we brought in 12 of the youngest, hottest and most impressionable party girls that Montreal has to offer. It’s important to find a girl before she becomes jaded and too accustomed to the good life. As they say, you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.

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The Last Supper

For dinner, we went to the best steakhouse in Canada. That’s where the drinks REALLY got flowing. It started with a $9000 6L bottle of Dom Perignon. I don’t mean the toilet water 2004 stuff; I’m talking the 1994 bottle. That was followed up by a $6000 9L bottle of wine. There was seafood towers, caviar tins, and of course, steaks. Half-way through the meal, while everyone was eating, we had some girls come put on a show on the table that involved a different type of eating. Now that’s a pretty fantastic centrepiece if you ask me!

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Find Me In The Club, Bottles Full Of Bub

Following dinner, we took the boys and girls to the club, where a special section filled with bottles was awaiting them. Our midget bartender took care of the group all night long, and one of the guys in the group was so hammered that it took him over an hour to realize that his bartender was a little person. The night continued on that pace, as the guys partied at the club until the morning hours. This was just night one, though. There was still much more to come.

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Day Two

The next day started with another private suite party, only featuring some college football on the screens. Of course, we got strippers to wear the jerseys of their alma mater. That was a nice touch. After the game, we rented out an entire spa for massages. After a long night of strenuous partying, it’s important to relax and take care of the body a little bit.

Following the massages, we went to the supper club. This time, we brought out 18 party girls for the occasion. That’s more than an NBA roster. The guys must have enjoyed the over-sized bottle of wine from the previous night, because they ordered a few more. It wasn’t long before things started to get wild. Girls were taking off their tops, guys were throwing money in the air, and the expensive champagne was flowing like a water fountain. We had the attention of the entire club. It was such a scene that when PK Subban and Georges St-Pierre randomly showed up at the same location, nobody seemed to notice.

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The Final Conclusion

By the end of it all, the group had managed to spend $100,000 on their epic Montreal bachelor party, and every penny of it was worth it. This is definitely one for the record books that will be very tough for anyone to top. Never say never, though.

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Posted on: 05 Nov 2015
Posted by: Tyler Lemco