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Day 2: Indica, Is That You?

Aftermath Of Day 1

Indica Montreal

I woke up from my foray into legal pot fully refreshed (and 3.3 lbs heavier according to the scale). Given the duration and intensity of my experience, it’s remarkable there was no hangover or adverse side effects (Aside from intense munchies). Anyone who has drank all night or taken some extracurriculars for the same duration would feel considerably worse (allegedly) the next day.

While the day before was an “L” in my overall cannabis experience. I was determined to press on in the name of science. I learned from my first experience. First thing I did was hop back on the SQDC website and look at what I had actually taken yesterday and what would be my next choice for my rigorous sampling method. I learned a few new things:

 

  1. Oils/Spray are not to be taken lightly.
  2. Read the fuckin’ dosage: While the other day I broke down the Strain VS THC Vs Type I overlooked that for each specific product there is a percentage of Cannabinoids, THC and CBD in each dose. On closer inspection, The Solei Renouer spray had a whopping 25mg dose per spray(2-3x more than any other spay on the site). I also took 2 sprays/doses. Various sites say to start with around 5mg for novices.  I’m not an MIT alum, but I’m pretty sure I took 10 times more than the recommended dose
  3. The site lists the overall strength. Under the strain type icon on the site, there are 1-3 little dashes to indicate the strength. You’d think a government agency would err on the side of caution with the strength levels. However, yesterday’s sample, was at a full 3 dashes (the highest) rating of “strong” . They should also use something less design forward then simple dashes. It would be better if they used a pictogram of someone getting knocked out or a coma patient .                                                                                                                                                                                With my new life lessons at hand, it was time to pick up my next product to sample. I wasn’t going to tuck my tail between my legs and go for the familiar bud. Like ol’ GW, I was going to prove to my dad that I wasn’t a pussy, and I decided to go straight back for the oil. Just this time hopefully a bit wiser.

 

Test 2:  Aurora – Capsules

Type: Oil (in capsules)

Species: Indica

Cannabinoids: 10% THC and 0% CBD per dose/pill).

# of little dashes : 2 out of 3   (medium)

 

Indica

Description:

This Indica strain, in capsule form, has a medium THC content and contains no CBD. It may cause a feeling of physical heaviness, giving the impression of being calm and relaxed. It may even cause drowsiness. This product does not have a distinctive aroma. CAUTION! The effects may take up to two or three hours to appear. We strongly recommend beginning with one low-dose capsule and waiting up to several hours before taking more, if desired.

I was proceeding with caution this time. It was 5pm and I was back home from the office and wanted to kick back, making the overall strain choice of Indica more suitable as I was looking to turn off my MENSA intellect in favor of a “body high”. I stuck to a much lower dosage (1/5th of the other day at 10 vs 50mg) of THC in a more measurable format of an oil filled capsule.

Results

Unlike Nemo, I could not tell you if I took the right pill or the wrong pill or even if I was still in the Matrix. I was comatose. I’ve had all sorts of opiates from my spinal surgery as a teen to smoking opium in the jungles of Laos. Honestly, this 1 little pill made me more numb then I can remember. I’d like to tell you I went out and did all sorts of cool things in Montreal to take advantage of my high, but I’d be lying. I was KO’ed. I spent the entire evening laying on my sofa, drifting in and out of consciousness.  I felt as if i went to a cocktail party at Cosby’s. I also didn’t have any of the mental paranoia or “deep thoughts” which was advertised for an Indica. This made the experience more enjoyable as I knew I was gone, I didn’t have an guilt or paranoia to ruin my “buzz”.

My plan was to describe/write this experience while I was feeling the effects. That didn’t work. All I had was a open Google doc with 2  lines writtenFeels like time is moving very slowly…” and “Very Hungry, too lazy to Uber eats”.

Oils: 2, Me: 0

In all seriousness, I don’t know where or when I’d want to be as sedated as I was. I could not believe the effect from 1 “medium” strength pill. This experience does validate the medical legitimacy of cannabis. One $1.50 pill sedated me as effectively as any opiate i’ve ever tried for over 5 hours. This could provide serious relive to those in suffer from chronic pain with none of the side effects/risk of opiates.

Posted on: 25 Oct 2018
Posted by: Grant Simon
How to get HIGH in Montreal – A field guide. What you should know, and what we can’t remember.

*** LEGAL DISCLAIMER*** Since this is new territory I’d like to appease my business partners and lawyers by noting that Connected Montreal does not provide or supply cannabis products. We do not condone the use of black market cannabis products. The use of legal cannabis products are to only be used and consumed in Canada. Consult your physician before using any cannabis products. The following experiences below are purely anecdotal… allegedly. For more information regarding weed laws, click here

Last week, on October 17th, Cannabis AKA Weed, pot, reefer… Etc became LEGAL in all of Canada. Not decriminalized or tolerated…Fully legal. Canada is the first G8 nation to do so.

While Cannabis is now legal, there are a few basic laws about smoking weed in Montreal:

-You must be be over 18 to buy or consume marijuana

-You can’t carry over 30 grams (that’s over an ounce) per person

-You can’t drive high (duh)

-You can’t smoke in smoke free zones (schools/hospitals)

Weed is regulated here in Quebec (Montreal is in Quebec) by the newly formed SQDC. The  SQDC is a government run weed store (Socialism at its finest) and is the only place you can buy LEGAL cannabis. There is only one physical store location downtown, which at the time of writing has a line around the block and a 3 hour wait to get in (this will, of course, die down). You can order online in Canada, However shipping takes 2-4 days.

Cannabis at the SQDC is sold in primarily 2 forms:  dried buds and pre-rolled joints for smoking OR oils, capsules, and sprays for oral consumption. Edibles such as cookies and gummy bears will not be sold as they are seen as a child safety hazard.

Luckily, I was able to get an order in online (the order volume has been so insane that quantity is already low.) In the name of science and R&D, I used the company Amex to deliver some legal cannabis products to our office. I ordered a sampling of 3 products: buds, spray, and oil/capsules.

Montreal Weed Guide

 

Weed College

In case you don’t listen to rap or are a mormon, here is a crash course in cannabis as it’s important to know the different types of strains and general effects  (or read what big brother says)

The most important thing to look for is THC content. For noobs, this means how much of the psychoactive compound is in the weed that makes you high.

Furthermore, there are 2 strains of cannabis that each give their own specific feeling/high: Sativa and Indica

Sativa: The THC in this strain gives you the “head high” the government says, “Its effects are usually described as potentially energizing, uplifting or mentally stimulating”

Indica : This strain gives you the “body high”. The government describes Indica as, ““Its effects are usually described as potentially calming, relaxing or sleep-inducing.“

Montreal Weed Guide

 

Hybrid : A mix of the two strains and a mix of the two highs. Most weed sold is a hybrid.

CBD Content : This is in reference to the NON-Psychoactive chemical. CBD is considered a miracle drug by many as its know to be of the the best anti-inflammatory out there. CBD doesn’t get you high, but it has many amazing medical benefits that I highly recommend (Think of it as a replacement for Advil, hangovers, and soreness from working out). Most people are excited that CBD is now legal as many use it to reduce chronic pain. CBD products and strains were the first to sell out online.

Type VS high:  ***Very important***. Smoking will always be the mild and shorter high, its also easier to control your dose. While eating (oils/sprays) is the wild wild west as you don’t really know how hard it will hit, or how long the high will last. The effects might not kick in for 2-3 hours… and the high can last 8+ hours. If you’re a novice, DON’T do the oils.

First Hand Report

I should mention my familiarity with cannabis (My parents learned a long time ago not to read this site and to just tell their friends I’m an “event planner”) I learned the lessons of the “sweet leaf” as a teenager (like most of you). During the mid to late 90’s in the US, weed was still illegal and expensive. Good bud cost more than gold, literally, and could get you arrested in most states. Regardless, there was no better way for a teen to get action from a chubby drama chick then by having weed. I smoked my fair share back in the day and still a bit now in my 30’s, so I’m no stranger to the occasional high. I thought I’d be prepared, boy was I wrong.

Test 1: Solei “Renouer

“ THC Spray $31″

Weed Spray

The SQDC website says:

This blend, in oral spray form, has a strong THC content and contains no CBD. It may give the impression of experiencing stimulating sensations, increase the desire to be around others and even create an urge to laugh. This product does not have a distinctive aroma. CAUTION! The effects may take up to two or three hours to appear. We strongly recommend beginning with a small amount and waiting a few hours before taking more, if desired.

This is the strongest and cheapest spray that is legally sold. It is also a Sativa.  I thought it would be a good idea to start at the top and work my way down… I was wrong.

At around noon, I decided to take 2 sprays on an empty stomach and began my journey. An hour later, I realized I should have taken just one spray.

I was catapulted into the the stratosphere of legal weed. Since any real productive work was thrown out the window, I decided to skip out on the office and indulge the buzz.

When your high, really high, there’s nothing better than stuffing your face. No better place to do so then Schwartz’s. Their smoked meat sandwiches are legendary and loved by all. Upon arrival, the line was down the block. Luckily, due to our Briskets and Breasts partnership, I was able to skip the line and grab a quick sandwich to go. I’d like to think this went as smooth as possible but I think everyone knew I was high, or maybe that was the paranoia kicking in?

 

The sandwich didn’t quench the beast  so like any glutton/foodie I hopped into an Uber (Please don’t drive high…) to my favorite place in Montreal, Jean Talon Market.

Jean Talon is possibly the best farmers market in North America. It’s the real deal with food you won’t see anywhere this side of the Atlantic. I’m too vain to list ALL the things I ate but highlights include: pulled pork tacos, snow crab at the raw bar, raw milk cheese samples (till they gave me dirty looks), and of course, a good pour over from the hipster kid who knew what was up and was probably high too.

I’d like to lie and say the rest of my high was a magical adventure, but I’d be lying. After stuffing my face, I took an Uber home and listened to “Sapiens” on Audible and JRE for the rest of the day. It was a far cry from the promised, “…gives the impression of experiencing stimulating sensations, increase the desire to be around others and even create an urge to laugh.”

The high had lasted well over 10 hours… Yes, 10 fuckin’ hours!

I am way too old to be that high for that long. I’ve taken edibles a bunch of times and this spray was right up there as one of my more  “memorable” weed experiences.

Learn from my mistake and only take one spray if you decide to indulge. Don’t be an idiot like me and take 2. Wait about two to three hours for the spray to kick in. I’m sure some people can handle this, if not something stronger.  Also, I don’t recommend this high for a bachelor party unless it’s a rainy day or you want to REALLY relax the rest of the afternoon. This spray is definitely not something I’d recommend before going out.

It’s important to note that for less than $1 I was high all day. The bang for your buck is off the charts. It’s clear Canada is not fucking around with weed legalization and is taking aim at the “black market” with superior products at dirt cheap prices.

It’s 11pm and I’m going to bed. I am still buzzed and defeated. Solei Renouer 1, Me 0.

Test 2 coming soon…

Posted on: 24 Oct 2018
Posted by: Grant Simon
How To Plan An Epic Montreal Bachelor Party

Let’s be honest… Planning a bachelor party can turn into a huge headache that no Advil can relieve. From dealing with different personalities to choosing the right activities, you can quickly get overwhelmed by the amount of things you need to take into account. Throw in the fact that you want the bachelor party to be in a city in a different country where you don’t speak the local language. While we understand that planning a Montreal bachelor party can seem overwhelming, if you follow a few easy steps, you’ll seamlessly plan an epic weekend full of booze and strippers.

Here’s 5 ways to make your bachelor party planning a bit easier:

Talk To The Groom   

This should be a no brainer, but you’d be surprised how many bachelor parties come to town without first consulting the guest of honor. Find out what he wants and doesn’t want out of the weekend. However, we highly recommend throwing in a surprise or two for the bachelor to keep the weekend interesting (Getting woken up with a lap dance is a great example). At the end of the day, the weekend should be about the bachelor, but we all know the other degenerates on the trip will have more fun.

Planning Bachelor Party

Send Out Invites

This may be the most important part of planning an epic bachelor party. The social dynamic of the group is critical. Some guys are loose cannons, other have a stick up their asses. The ideal group size is 10 and everyone should have a personal connection to the bachelor except for that one rich friend no has talked to since college, but pays for everything…Regardless, whatever you do, don’t invite the soon to be father-in-law. Some things need to be kept secret.

Head Count

Once you have invites go out, you need to figure out who is actually coming to Montreal. Planning for a 25 man bachelor party is much different than 4 guys. The earlier you know the head count, the better. This number usually changes as the weekend gets closer and wives read about Montreal’s “friendly” locals.

Bachelor Party Planning

Determine A Budget

A huge factor in choosing the right activities for your bachelor party group is finding a budget. We recommend determining what the sweet spot is for your group. It’s important to find a budget that doesn’t price some guys out of the weekend, while some of the big ballers don’t feel that everyone is being cheap. Ask early on in the process to find out what everyone wants to do. If you are the one in charge of the budget, you get to be a dictator. You can choose activities that you want to do, while pitching it as something that is for the good of the group. See how to do this? You’re welcome.

Call Connected Montreal

Once you’ve answered these basic questions, it’s time to give us a call and let us work together to create a customized itinerary. We’ll help you every step of the way to make sure planning your Montreal bachelor party is as easy and hassle-free as possible. Not only will you have a host that is available on call the whole weekend, you’ll be able to add any activities you want and we’ll adjust the itinerary as guys get added or drop out…Hard to do on your own.

 

Give us a call (1-877-690-4919) to plan your epic weekend in Montreal today!

Posted on: 19 Oct 2018
Posted by: Grant Simon
Host Feature: Hurricane Tony

They say that the dark is afraid of him. His business card simply says, “I’ll Call You.” Legend has it that he can make bottles and strippers magically appear out of thin air. It’s hard to plan your bachelor party with Connected Montreal and not at least hear of this party legend. Guys want to be him and women want to be with him. The self proclaimed best VIP host in Montreal has been in the game for over 5 years and he can certainly hang with the best of them. For better or worst, he’s spent years of his life  in strip clubs, bars, and other nightlife institutions…Or shall we say they were lucky enough that he graced them with his presence. Without further ado, we are pleased to introduce you to the one and only, Hurricane Tony:

Connected Montreal Host Hurricane Tony

Age

Depends how I feel on that day

From

Montreal, the 514

Favorite Drink

Hard question…Glenfiddich Scotch

Favorite Club/ Bar

Chez Parée

Favorite Strip Club

Kamasutra

Favorite Place To Eat

Tripoli Restaurant

Favorite Stripper Activity

All of them, but a lesbian show never disappoints. I will warn you that a fat girl show is for a certain bachelor party group…

Hangover Food Of Choice

Corona and 2 Advils please.

Best Hosting Story

Honestly, it’s impossible to pick just one because you never know what might happen next weekend that will top all of the other ones. Let’s just say I’ve done it all, I’ve seen it all, and I’m ready for more!

Don’t take our word for it! Here’s what some clients had to say about the man, the myth, and the legend that is Hurricane Tony:

Hurricane Tony

Hurricane Tony

Hurricane Tony Connected Montreal

 

Posted on: 31 Aug 2018
Posted by: Grant Simon
Best Montreal Supper Clubs In 2018

Supper clubs are found in other cities, but nowhere does supper clubs like Montreal. For those of you that have never heard of a Montreal supper club, they are eateries during the evening that turn into full blown nightclubs after dinner is served. They are consistently some of the best places in Montreal to party. How could they not be? With a great mix of delicious food, model hot girls, bottles, and the fact that you don’t even have to leave to go party, it’s no wonder reservations are nearly impossible to get. Luckily, with our connections, you won’t have that problem. Here’s the best Montreal supper clubs to check out in 2018:

Bord’elle

Leading the resurgence of the Old Port, Bord’elle is a great option for a more sophisticated group. Modeled after a 1920’s speakeasy, the food is incredible. We recommend you try their Filet Mignon in a VSOP cognac glaze, but there is nothing we don’t like on the menu. Once the clock strikes midnight, Bord’elle comes alive and the champagne starts flowing. If you head to this club, be prepared for a rowdy time. It is one of the best places to party on Thursday nights and is a go to spot jump off point for our groups that think they can handle 3 massive nights of partying…To them, we say good luck. Bord’elle will give you all you can handle and than some!

Bord'elle Montreal 2018

Soubois

Soubois, French for “Underground Forest”, is the perfect spot for those that care more about the scenery than the food. For starters, the space is unique and looks like you are surrounded by trees. It’s a nice touch, but you didn’t come for the interior design. The food is good, but their very hot waitresses steal the show. Consider it a practice round for you and your buddies to get warmed up talking to locals. Soubois is a solid spot on Friday, but is reliably great on Saturday.

Sousbois Montreal 2018

Flyjin

Located down the street from Bord’elle in the Old Port, Flyjin is a smaller, more intimate supper club. Their menu was created by renowned, international chef Antonio Park. The miso black cod is to die for. Unfortunately, this club only works best with groups of 10 or less since anything above that, your group would be 10-20% capacity of the club. What club wants a good portion of their clientele that night to be guys? None. (Of course, we could always tip the scale in your favor if you bring along some party girls..)

Flyjin Montreal 2018

Joverse

This laid back, casual supper club is ideal for larger groups or for guys that don’t want something too fancy. It’s not as pretentious as some of the other supper clubs that were previously mentioned. It’s a great place to party with less crowds and is more relaxed. The crowd tends to skew a bit younger, which means hot, impressionable girls so we generally recommend Joverse for groups that are more budget conscious, but still want to ball out during their time in Montreal.

Joverse Montreal 2018

 

    

 

Posted on: 29 Aug 2018
Posted by: Grant Simon
The Best Montreal Hangover Meals

When you come to Montreal on a bachelor party, your going to follow a pretty straight forward formula: dinner, strip club, go out, after party, repeat. Then comes the next morning and it feels like Pierre the midget is trying to force his way out of your head. Luckily, Montreal knows you came here to party and is ready with a variety of hangover food options. Here’s 6 of our favorite Montreal hangover meals:

Poutine

Anyone that’s ever been to Montreal will tell you that you have to try poutine. We’re not sure what they sprinkle on it, but if you’ve ever had a hangover poutine, you know that feeling when you instantly come back to life. There are hundreds of poutine places all over Montreal, but head to La Banquise, a Montreal institution. Walk across the street to Parc LaFontaine to soak in some sun and if you’re feeling bold, have a beer or two with your meal to really clear that foggy head.

Montreal Hangover

Bagels

Montreal vs. New York bagels… We know every New Yorker that is going to read this will defend their own version, but we don’t care since you’re on our turf. Head to St. Viateur for their bagel sandwiches or be a true Montrealer and get bagels with a tub of cream cheese. This is our personal favorite option since the combination of doughy bread with sweet and salty flavors will have you ready for the next big night out in no time.

Bachelor Party Hangover Montreal

Down And Dirty Brunch

Montreal’s brunch scene might not be as developed as the East Coast, but don’t sleep on several great options. L’Avenue is by far one of our favorites. Although the wait can be an hour or more on the weekend depending on when you arrive, the portions are more than generous (Especially the pancakes) and you’ll have a full grown food baby by the time you leave. Of course, any brunch can be turned into a boozy one, so if that’s what you want, L’Avenue is your best option.

Bachelor Party Hangover Meal

Carb Overload

Carbs are a necessity when it comes to proper hangover recovery and Montreal is not short on carb loading options. Boustan’s is better known for its late night shenanigans, but it is also a great daytime eating spot. The Lebanese fast food restaurant serves up delicious shawarma, kebabs and falafel. If you’re more in the mood for a burger, head down the street to Crescent’s Burger Bar. After a quick scan of the menu, you’ll realize that they have already made the choice for you by offering a Hangover Burger. The burger consists of beef patties, cheese, bacon, poutine, truffle oil, caramelized onions, and for good measure, a fried egg. You can thank us later…

Hangover Burger

Dim Sum

This small portion Chinese brunch has exploded in popularity the last few years and there’s nothing better than greasy dumplings to soak up that remaining booze in your system. You really can’t go wrong with any dim sum restaurant in Chinatown on St. Laurent. Most have plenty of room to accommodate any size group so if your bachelor party consists of foodies, this is the hangover brunch for you.

Montreal Bachelor Party Hangover Meal

 

Brisket And Breasts

When you have a pounding hangover, the last thing you’ll want to do is stand in line and wait for smoked meat. Make your life easier and throw some fun into the mix by having Schwartz’s catered to your house with some topless waitresses serving you. Unlike those 3 shots of tequila after drinking bourbon all night, this is a decision you won’t regret.

Bachelor Party Hangover Schwartz's

Posted on: 20 Aug 2018
Posted by: Grant Simon
Best Adventure Activities For Your Montreal Bachelor Party

Besides the drinking and girls that every bachelor party should have, there should also be a competitive or adventure element to the bachelor party. It’s important to get the adrenaline pumping so the group can sweat out the poor decisions they made the night before. We recommend at least one, but no more than two of these activities for a bachelor party. Here are 4 activities that will be some hair on your chest:

Zipline

Eventually every bachelor party takes a stroll around Old Montreal so once you get some liquid courage in you, head over to our friends at MTL Zipline and be prepared to scream your head off. Continue the Old Montreal bar crawl by grabbing some local hotties at the other end of the zipline and head to Terrasse Bonsecours.

Bachelor Party Adventure

Axe Throwing

Is there anything more Canadian than axe throwing? Unless the axe is smothered in maple syrup and you’re wearing a flannel shirt, I’m afraid not. It’s a great way to do something more memorable for the bachelor party and you’ll be well on your way to becoming a true Canadian. Try knife throwing as well, it’s even harder.

Axe Throwing Bachelor Party

Go Karting

In our opinion, go karting is the best option for those that are looking for some good ol’ fashioned competition. Want to kick the bachelor’s ass one last time? No better way to do it than “accidentally” bumping him off the track. Up the ante and bet that night’s dinner at Queue De Cheval on the race.

Go Karting Bachelor Party

Jet Boating

The after party ended at 5:30 AM and you have jet boating planned on your itinerary at 9. While you may rather read the company’s financial reports than get splashed with cold water while nursing a throbbing hangover, we can almost guarantee your hangover will be cured and the guys will be ready for some day drinking on a terrasse after. There’s no better way to wash away the previous nights sins.

 

Rafting Montreal

Posted on: 17 Aug 2018
Posted by: Grant Simon
Where Connoisseurs Need To Go In Montreal

For any true connoisseur of the finer things in life, there are four things that must be savored when traveling to a new city:

  • Food
  • Cigars
  • Coffee
  • Wom…Scotch

 

Welcome to the good life. Here’s where to indulge in Montreal:

Game Meat At Atwater Market

Montreal has several public markets spread out throughout the city that are loaded with local produce, meat, and fish. Walking around the market is an experience by itself with all of the different sights and smells. While there are a few public markets to choose from, we’d recommend heading to Atwater Market. Located right on the Lachine Canal, it is the perfect spot for any of the connoisseurs in your bachelor party group to nerd out. One of the best parts about the market for connoisseurs is that it stocks hard to find game meats such as kangaroo, bison, and ostrich. On the weekend, Atwater is packed with shoppers, but it is worth fighting through the crowds.

Game Meat Montreal

 

Cigars At Casa De Habanos

Casa De Habanos is the place to go for premium, aged cigars. Located right downtown on Sherbrooke Street, Habanos staff is knowledgeable, friendly, and their selection is incredible. You’ll find a wide variety of Cuban cigars, which is always a treat for our American guests. Pair a cigar with some port and you’ll have a great start to the bachelor party weekend.

Montreal Cigars

3rd Wave Coffee Shops

Montreal’s Mile End neighborhood is considered to be one of the trendiest AKA hipster-filled in the world. With a healthy amount of random tattoos, edgy haircuts, and expensive vegan food in this city, you’re bound to find good 3rd wave coffee shops (Whatever that means…) But since you like your artisanal coffee, we’d recommend trying Pikolo or Dispatch. Modeled after an Australian coffee house, Pikolo is centrally located and serves strong coffee that is perfect after a big night out (It pairs nicely with Legs And Eggs.) If you really are a coffee snob, head to the epicenter of all things hipster, Dispatch Coffee. The minimalist shop was designed for the customer to focus on the coffee and not the ambiance. Dispatch is well known among coffee aficionados so don’t be surprised if your coffee roaster buddy sneaks away for an hour or two.

Third Wave Coffee Montreal

Scotch Tasting At Burgundy Lion

If the whole bachelor party is scotch or whisky snobs, head to Burgundy Lion for a private tasting with a resident expert. They’ll walk you through the history behind the booze, where it comes from, and how it is made. They will answer any questions and will happily accommodate any special tasting requests you may have.

We’d be happy to help set you up with a tasting if that is something you’d be interested in. Give us a call (1-877-690-4919) or email us.

Scotch Tasting

 

 

 

Posted on: 01 Aug 2018
Posted by: Grant Simon
How Do I Get My Bachelor Party Into Joe Beef?

There’s 3 things to remember if you want to get into Joe Beef:

1. Make a reservation very early. We recommend calling at least 2 months in advance.

2. Be under 6 people.

3. If neither of these apply to you, try another restaurant.

Don’t get us wrong, Joe Beef is a great restaurant and the food is delicious, but it’s easy to get caught up in the foodie hype. However, there are some other tremendous fine dining options that are worth eating at too. Here are 3 other comparable restaurants to Joe Beef:

Garde Manger

Located in Old Montreal, Garde Manger is known for their elaborate, constantly evolving chalkboard menu by celebrity chef Chuck Hughes. There are a few items here that are must-haves if they appear on the menu the night you go. To start, try the seafood platter, which is loaded up with shrimp, oysters, scallops, and crab. It’s a perfect starter to share with the whole bachelor party. If you want to stick with the fish theme, order the lobster poutine. The dish is a win-win. You get a delicious meal and can skip the otherwise drunken pilgrimage for underwhelming poutine at La Banquise. If you’re more in the mood for meat, try the braised ribs. The ribs are full of flavor and are already falling off the bone by the time they arrive at your table.

How Do I Get Into Joe Beef

Au Pied De Cochon

If you have any vegetarian or vegan friends on the trip, consider leaving them at home when you head to the Plateau’s trendy Au Pied De Cochon. The restaurant, whose name translates in English to “At The Pig’s Feet”, is considered carnivore heaven and was even one of Anthony Bourdain’s favorite restaurants in Montreal. They are known for their foie gras and pork dishes. The foie gras hamburger is always a hit and is a good way to line the stomach before a big night out. Speaking of alcohol, their wine and cocktail list is extensive. Ask your server which wines pair up with your meal.

How Do I Get Into Joe Beef

Chasse Et Peche

Chasse Et Peche gives Joe Beef a good run for their money. Tucked away on a small side street in Old Montreal, Chasse Et Peche models itself off an old hunting lodge. It’s a place your father’s bachelor party would come to, but with a 21st century take on the cuisine. The restaurant offers interesting starters and entrees. For a starter, we’d recommend trying the braised piglet risotto with foie gras shavings. For an entree, try the Wagyu beef, some of the best in the city.

Joe Beef Chasse Et Peche

 

    

 

Posted on: 25 Jul 2018
Posted by: Grant Simon
Host Feature: Dirty Mike

Mike, AKA Dirty Mike, has been a host for three years now. The veteran knows Montreal like the back of his hand and always makes sure that his groups are drunk and have seen plenty of T&A before midnight. Today, in honor of Dirty Mike’s birthday, we are doing a special feature on him so you can get to know him better and just like that stripper at Chez Parée, you’ll want to tip him an outrageous amount.

Dirty Mike Host 

Age

 26

From

Montreal

Favorite Drink

Cuba Libre

Favorite Club/Bar

McLean’s Pub. Ask for Stewart and he’ll hook you up with his 10 Liter Beer towers.

Favorite Strip Club

Hands down Kamasutra because of the intimate atmosphere. No seat is a bad seat and the talent is great.

Favorite Place To Eat

Moishes. They have an incredible after 9 PM special menu. You can get an appetizer and entree for $25. You can’t beat that.

Favorite Stripper Activity

 Girl On Girl Show. The reactions on every guy’s face is priceless.

Hangover Food Of Choice

 Poutine. It’s a classic Montreal food staple that, like a fat girl show, everyone has to try at least one. I’ve seen poutine work wonders and revive those that were struggling from a long night.

Best Hosting Story

I had a crazy group of Marines come to Montreal from California for a boy’s weekend full of debauchery. They were already drunk and rowdy as they got off the plane. One of the guys in the group lost their bag, but replaced it with something more fun.While standing in line waiting for his lost bag, the marine got chatting with a girl who had lost her bag too. The backpacker girl had just gotten back from Thailand and since she lost her bag, she didn’t have any clothes with her. The guys ended up inviting the backpacker girl to their place and needless to say, she became part of the group in more than one way.The guys returned last year because they had so much fun. Those guys were party legends. God bless the United States Marine Corps.  

Posted on: 06 Jul 2018
Posted by: Grant Simon