30 May Top 10 Strip Club Mistakes
What they don’t want you to know.
10. Trusting a Stripper
Strippers are as trustworth as an ’87 Yugo. A good rule of thumb is not to believe anything they say. While she will tell you that you are hot, you are not. Go in knowing this and you will have much more fun. Remember they are selling a fantasy, not a reality.
9. Not Getting Bottle Service
Drinks at Montreal strip clubs are measured (1oz), and can run $8-$12 on average. Getting a 26oz bottle of Grey Goose for $220 comes to $8.46 an oz rather than $12 at the bar. Not to mention the status and convenience that comes with bottle service at a strip club.
8. Buying a Montreal Stripper a Drink
This is a personal preference. If you truly enjoy their company feel free to buy them drinks. The key is to order the drinks yourself or they will be ordering XO and Cristal. Some strip clubs, such as Kamasutra, have $4 shots so just order them shots. Don’t be afraid to tell the girls NO, they hear it from loan officers all the time.
7. Not Paying for Lap Dances in Advance
Booze and boobies cloud judgment. Strippers know this. A common scam is for the stripper to lie about the number of dances they performed. In Montreal, they don’t ask if you want another dance; the meter keeps running. Nothing kills an experience like having to argue if the remix is one song or two. Pre-pay the girls and save yourself a headache and a large bill.
6. Going During the Day
They didn’t invent the term “day-shifters” for nothing. Even the best strip clubs in Montreal are a sad sight during the day. Unless you really want to see nudity in all shapes and sizes, avoid the strip clubs during the day. The varsity squad starts at 9 PM.
5. Keeping a Tab Open or Covering Friends
A personal pet peeve of mine. Everyone orders tons of drinks and you were nice enough to put down your credit card for the tab. Now you are faced with the uphill battle of trying to collect money. One guy you don’t even know that well spent all his cash on dances with Maybach. One of the guy’s little brother is passed out and another guy’s debit card is maxed out, but he promises to pay you back. The excuses and hassles are endless. Worst of all, you don’t want to come off like an ass so you just eat most of the cost.
4. Tipping the Strippers
Ok, Montreal strippers are going to give me hell for this one, but oh well. In Montreal, strippers pocket all the money they make from dances. The clubs make money off of steep covers, and booze, and they charge the girls a $50 fee to work the night. Tipping the strippers on money they pocket makes no sense, some will go as far as to say it’s x$ plus tip. Don’t tip them unless you really want to (I have no idea why you would).
3. Opting for the Lesbian Show
While lesbianism is legal in the clubs, it can often be a rip-off. Yes, it is “real” but the price can add up fast ($40 a song). Some girls will try to negotiate a larger price for a large group. It might seem like a good idea when they pitch you, “only $20 a guy”, but it should always be $40 a song. If you really want a show we can arrange for one that is far superior, cheaper, and in the comfort of your own hotel.
2. Going to a No-Contact Club
Montreal is known for full-contact strip clubs. Why would you go to a no-contact club? It makes no sense. Fortunately, there has been a tactile revolution and there’s only one no-contact club left: Wanda’s. Unless you are a geriatric or visiting with your jealous significant other, don’t go there. Forget this whole “it’s way classier” argument, the girls are no hotter. I’ve been to strip clubs all over the world and none are “classy” That’s just a lie the clubs feed you. You go to a strip club to see girls get naked, not to eat foie gras and see performance art.
1. Not Going with Us!
We have spent every weekend at the best strip clubs in Montreal for the past 5 years. We personally know all the best girls and as soon as we walk in with a group, they take notice. You would be doing your group a disservice not visiting a strip club with us on your bachelor party. Our connections and insider knowledge will guarantee you an experience like no other.
Step into our office.
Give us a call at 1.877.690.4919 and prepare for the time of your lives.